Brucey Bat
by AceOfSpadez
Summary: The Joker has Robin, and he wants 12 hours with the Bat in exchange for him. What's the Joker got up his sleeve this time? MxM, you don't like, then don't read!
1. Chapter 1

I Own Nothing of Batman!

Batman's P.O.V

"Damn it!" I yelled at the monitor. The Joker has Robin. For the 3rd time. This month. A giggle escaped the villain on screen. "And if you don't come and pick your little boy toy up I'll kill him." The Joker's obnoxious laugh filled the bat cave. With a click the tape ended. Damn him. A small pop came from the batman email, curtsy of the Joker who claimed "It will bring us together!" The only reason I ever used it was because The mad man promised to kill every judge in Gotham if I didn't.

The email address 'kill!the!bat!' flashed over the black-and-white text that said "10 O'clock. Our usual place. Can't wait to see you tomorrow! ~ Joker". Our usual place was a warehouse that he always kept Robin. With a quickly typed

"Fine.", I shut off the monitor and headed back to the Manor. Tomorrow was going to be a long night.

Joker's P.O.V

With a high pitched squeal, I grinned wider then my cuts. "He's coming then?" Harley Quinn asked coolly, stirring her martini. Her usual hyper-self was gone. She had caught ScareCrane and I in the bathroom. Fucking. Myself being gay was not something she was happy with. But like the rest of her mood swings and all, I brushed it off with a smile.

"Of Course! He _has _to save poor little Robin, doesn't he?" I smiled a crooked smile at the small and fragile boy chained to the kitchen island next to Harley. She kicked him.

"I think I wore him out." The queen of gymnastics pouted. Since I was off-limits to Harley's sex drive, Robin took my place.

"I think you turned that boy into a man." I cackled. She smiled, eyes twinkling. I walked over to Robin, knelt down and grabbed him by the chin.

"Your boss will be my bitch in less then 24 hours." Robin didn't register what I said, instead just slumping back down. I patted him on the head, and glided to my bedroom. All in good time, the Batman will be mine.

XXXX

Ok people, just wanted to upload the first SLOT of this One-shot! More to come(Pun Intented)!


	2. Chapter 2

Batman's P.O.V

"Where the fuck are you?" I growled at the back of the warehouse. It was 10:28, and The Joker was late. I was antsy thinking he was going to ambush me, but I thought against it. As Joker had said before, "What's Chaos without the fight of Order?" As I was about to leave, a black van pulled up in front of me. I glared at the tinted windows. With a flash of red, a very dirty and battered Robin came rolling out. I stepped back as the Joker's goons stepped out of the van. The Joker stepped out with a plastered grin right behind them. With a swipe of the knife, the tape on Robin's mouth was gone..

"Batman!" Robin gasped out.

"Joker's going to f-" With a swift kick to the ribs from Joker, Robin fell face-first to the ground.

"Now that the Mini-Bat-boy has shut up, I want to propose a trade." He grabbed Robin by the hair and pulled him forward.

"A small, fragile Robin, for," A small smile played on The Joker's features.

"12 hours with you." I glared at Joker. What the hell was he planning?

"Why?' I asked. He pushed Robin to my feet, and said "I want to get to know _you_." The Joker then took out a knife. As big as a butchers, with the name _Robin _carved into the handle.

"Or, I could _finally _use this knife. I've been _dying _to let it be the last thing little boy here, ever _sees." _My back stiffened.

"Don't you _dare_." I growled, stepping into my fighting stance. He laughed, and sheathed his knife.

"I wouldn't _ever _hurt your precious Robin." Joker ruffled Robin's hair, causing him to groan.

"I'll go with you." I said quietly. Robin looked up at me and whimpered.

"Don't." He said weakly. I knelt down in front of him and said "I have too. You go home. I'll be there in 12 hours." I kissed him on the forehead, and stood up. The Joker's smile could've sent any other man to Arkham Asylum. But I stood my ground. With a cackle, the Joker said comically "Well then I only have one question." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small, black hanky.

"Does this smell like chloroform?" The all the sudden I was bum rushed by The Joker's men and The Joker himself. With the cloth held over my mouth and nose, I fell into a violence-filled sleep.

Remember, I'm writing a One-shot, but it's just spaced out. When it's completed I'll put it all together


	3. Chapter 3

Joker's P.O.V

I was smirking slightly, clutching the unconcussion from of Batman to my side. If only he could see himself leaning on me right now. He would shoot me, no kill rule or not. The black van we had stolen was bumpy, making the Bat almost squash me with ever turn. My goons were looking uneasily at each other, then back at me and Bats. My cracked makeup flaked off when I smiled a cold smile.

"Chain him up to the equator when we get there. Don't touch him after, or every bone in both your hands with be broken. One. At. A. Time." The hired help flinched, but nodded.

"The plans I have for you, Brucey Boy." I whispered into his ear seductively. He was too far out to reach. I smiled a slightly psychotic smile, remembering the fight that had broke out last week after the successful bank heist...

-Flash Back-

"Stop bouncing around!" Batman growled in his ugly scratchy throat thingy. He grabbed widly for me, but I escaped his grasp each time. I was waiting on my hired help. The basterds better not of run out on me. "More bodys mean more litter!" Harley Quinn's voice chimed in my head. Just as the Bat grabbed me by the throut, my goons showed up. They jumped him from behind, and the Bat let go of me. With a few coughs and curses, I could breath. The clowns in costume had pinned Batman to the wall of the backalley.

"Get OFF!" He screamed, pulling madly at the 6 pairs of arms that held him still.

"Is the little Bat trapped?" I asked, cackiling. My clowns stayed silent. I swaggered over to Bat, and pressed up against him. I felt around for his lower anotomy, finding nothing protecting it. With wide eyes, the Flying-Rat squirmmed.

"Don't." He said loudly, trying to twist away. I squeezed through the black fabirc, and Batman moaned. I could tell he was large down there, but how large, was still a mystery. With the moans coming from Batsy, the help lightened up thier grip. With a twist and kick, the Bat had broken free. With a raging hard-on, he flung my goons like ragdolls, heading full speed to me. I ran as fast as I could through the alleyway. I looked back when I ran out of breath, and found the Batman to be gone. With a smile I headed back to my hideout. What fun I would have tonight with the new information on Batsy. We never mentioned what had happened when we fought a couple days later, but we both knew it was still on our minds. Mine especially.

-Flash Back End-

XXX

Authour note!: I hope you enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter 4

Joker's P.O.V

With a sigh, I sat my martini down on the kitchen island. Checking my watch, the video feed from my bedroom was flickering. Batman was in the equator, struggling against the binds tied to his wrists and ankles. I laughed, straightening my gloves and jacket. With graceful strides, I glided into my room. "Batsy, you're awake!" Batman, high above me, visibly flinched at my voice.

"What's this about?" He growled. I chuckled.

"I told you I wanted to know _You_ better." With the realization of the real meaning behind words, he struggled in the bindings more.

"O come on _Brucey_, I know you want it." He stopped struggling.

"What did you just call me?" Bruce Wayne growled. I chuckled.

"Your birth name. Thy mother givith at birthith. The billionaire playboy, Bruce Wayne. Or," I said quietly as I drifted up next to him in the equator.

"The one who wants the Joker himself." Turning to look at me with wide eyes and pale skin, he asked

"You put cameras in my mansion, didn't you?" I took off his mask and twirled and finger through his jet black hair.

"You think I don't know? I watched you."

-Flash Back-

With ninja skills, and wet wipes to wipe off the makeup that smudged the walls, I crept into Batman/Bruce's mansion. With all his security measures, I had to go alone. Using the servants quarters, I successfully got in, installed a few cameras, and then ran like hell out. His butler, whatever-his-face, kept coming into the same room with me. It was like he knew someone was there. I almost took him out with my knife, but I decided against it. The cameras were the priority. Hiding in the shadows, I wondered why Bruce had little to no lights in his house. All shadows. A bat's domain. When I had safely made it out, I hijacked a car, (Not killing the driver, Harley had put her slogan to good use around the warehouse) and drove a block away from my ware/home. (Dumping the car owner in a lake first, of course) With the car set aflame, I ran the block back to my ware/home. Running through the house and past a screaming Harley, (She had kidnapped Robin last night) and to my room. The gigantic computer screen stretched almost all the way across my wall. I sat with a keyboard on my lap across from the screen, lights dimmed. I plugged into the feed for the cameras, and flinched back, covering my eyes. The man on the screen was in the bathroom, head thrown back, eyes closed, soft moans escaping slightly parted lips. He was leaning against the glass shower door, hands on a stiff manhood, at 9 o'clock at night. I peaked through my fingers, watching Bruce stroke himself. A name was getting past his lips... "Joker...!" He hissed out. I removed my hands from my eyes completely. What?! I looked down alarmed at my already erect wood. Bruce's hand went faster, his moans making me slip my hand into my pants, stroking myself as fast as he did. With each thrust of my hand, and each thrust of his, we were both nearing the edge. With a few more loud moans, both of us climaxed, yelling out each other's names. With hazy eyes, I clicked out of Bruce's bathroom feed. A long night of camera spying that night was.

-Flash Over-

Still the Joker's P.O.V

"I can't believe you _watched_ me..." Batman said, his blush creeping under his Bat suit. I flicked the zipper on his back, and then floated back down to the ground.

"How could I not? All the times we've tangoed, all I've wanted to know was what was under that suit." I looked up at the bound Bat, and walked out without another word. As I closed the door, an almost naked Harley came stumbling out of her bedroom.

"You fuck him yet?" She asked, her voice lower then her usual. Her breath smelled like vodka and whiskey. I sighed.

"No, not yet." I mumbled. She cackled.

"Just do it." She gave me a peck on the cheek, and stumbled back into her room. I looked down to check my watch. 12:00. It had only been an hour since Brucey woke up. I dragged my hand down my face, feeling my make-up cracking and smearing. Time to get cleaned up.

P.S. Hop you liked it!


	5. Chapter 5

Batman's P.O.V

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK! _I thought, as I struggled against the bindings even more. The Joker had just stepped out, and his words were still haunting me. _You think I don't know? I watched you._ For the Joker to see me like that... It was disgusting. But it turned me on. The bindings weren't coming free, and my arm had decided to go numb with effort. I huffed and stared up at the ceiling. With my cowl off, my bangs hung in my face. For once in my life, I was at his mercy. With the threat of him entering me, I started up my arm and feet, working the bindings once again. I hoped that I could break free.

Joker's P.O.V

"COME OFF!" I yelled at the mirror, turning to punch the wall next to me. HOW DARE this stupid make-up not come off. I've used soap and water, but it STILL PERSISTS. With one last scream, I hurled the soap dispenser at the glass mirror. It shattered into a million pieces. I stood still, then swore at it. With a kick to the door, I cursed my way to Harley's room.

"HARLEY!" I screamed through her door.

"What Mista J?!" She screamed back.

"I NEED MAKE-UP REMOVER!"

With a cackle she opened the door. A small black box was in her hand.

"Here." She thrusted the box into my hands.

"Use ONE." Harley slammed the door as she turned away. I walked back to the bathroom, flinching at all the broken glass. Stepping inside, I took a large shard and placed it on the frame of the broken mirror. I set down the black box on the edge of the vanity, carefully avoiding any glass. I opened the box carefully, taking out one lone wipe, before closing it. I stared at the some-how-magical little wipe. _How the hell is this going to work?_ I thought, bringing it up to my face. The leftover make-up that wouldn't come off before, flowed straight into the wipe. I smiled, taking all of it off. My natural tan beneath all the make-up yelled at me for being covered up. I tossed the wipe into the trash. _Thank devil for women,_ I thought smiling. The scars were less pronounce, now being 7 years old. I licked my lips, running a hand through my greasy hair. With a sigh, I turned on the faucet. I took off my purple suit coat, carefully placing in on a nearby towel hanger. I placed my head into the bowl, washing out the green. From all the times I've done this, the sink was slicked with an acid light green. A dark blonde was replacing the unnatural disorderly color. As I turned off the faucet, I caught a funny sight on my watch. The Bat was _still_ trying to break free. I wrapped my hair in a towel, walking out to the kitchen. Drinking from my old martini, I sat watching my watch. A sneer crept on my lips, as the Flying Rodent gave up. After a few moments, he started up right again. I laughed, checking on my hair. Dry. With a forceful hand, I tore the towel off, and flung it at Harley's door. The thump made her scream. I laughed a bit louder. A very muffled "FUCK OFF!" was heard through the door. I snorted. I stood up, adjusted my coat, and walked up to my bedroom door. With a creek, the door swung open.

"Having fun, Bats?" I cackled.

"What's it to you?" He sneered back. I pushed my hands deep into my pockets, stepping into the equator. The zero-gravity field scooped me up, and hurled me next to Batman.

"O nothing..." I said back. Batman turned his head.

A/N: HAHA! Joker without makeup... I'm trying to write as fast as I can, and to update, equally, as fast... I'm failing miserably... :P But, here this is! Hope you enjoyed! Review Please! (No flames, or the Joker will find you!)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Here we are! And Here. We. _Go._

~!~!~!~

The look on Bruce's adorable face, made me start wheezing with laughter. A horror struck look, but lust hidden deep within his dark stormy blue eyes gave him away. After a moment of him staring, and me laughing so hard I had crumpled part of my jacket, Batman growled and looked away. His face became a neutral mask. I stopped laughing.

"Don't like what you see, Brucey Bat?" I asked turning his head, so he could look straight into my unforgiving green eyes. He choked a bit, as he stared into me.

"I just... wasn't expecting it..." He said trailing off, a slight blush rasing on his cheeks.

"What?" I said, taking a fist full of his hair, and leaning his head back to face mine.

"Something... Pure? Like my hair? Or something... _beautiful._ Like my eyes." He visibly swallowed. I chuckled, and said quietly "I _know _it's not my _lips." _I took my free hand and traced my old scares. "Why so serious?" I whispered to myself, flashing back to the moment when I got them.

-_Start Flash-_

I was 23 then, just starting out. Even though, I was already a big-time criminal. I had just come back from a money drop. I was kneeling at the foot of my boss's chair, a man who called himself Bane. I had lost the money, and had gotten all 7 of my men killed. Bane was _shaking _with anger. "You know what they told me? WHY they killed my best men?!" He grabbed my chin and said "They said they were 'Playful'. And you were 'Serious'." I gulped as he took out a large hunting knife and placed it at the side of my mouth. "I only have one question for _you._" He took the blade, and stuck it into my mouth. "_Why. So. Serious?"_

_-End Flash-_

The slogan had stuck with me since. I had almost shivered, but held it. I had worked past that point in my life. Without these scars, I would be _nothing _of what I am today. I licked my lips, and said "I always wanted to know what it felt like to kiss _normal _lips. I've forgotten." I gazed off for a moment, before snapping my attention back to The Bat.

**"And I will find** **out. T****onight."**

~!~!~!~

A/N: Sorry for being so short. School starts tomorrow for me! And it's like, all most one! I'm going back to the place where I can't write, but I'm trying out a new app for that, so I might! Thanks for all the awesome reveiws!

With Love! 3,

Ace Of Spadez


	7. Chapter 7

**Joker's P.O.V**

"What do you mean?" Bruce said, a glint of concern in his eyes.

"Well..." I said, trailing my fingers up and down his rodent suit, before grabbing the zipper and cautiously pulling it down. Batsy didn't utter a sound.

"I thought, we could..." Another zipper down...

"Do the get to knowing each-other..." And another.

"Now." Then with a successful smile, I let his rodent suit fall away from his body. The only clothes that were left on him were tight, black boxers, which showed every-little-delicious-detail, and an equally as tight armor shirt.

"Joker.. I..!" I giggled a little, and shushed him. The part in his pants that I had been o-so-desperate to have, had realized that this was REALLY going to happen. I flicked out my knife, edged it just perfectly to the end of his shirt, and waited. Waited for the onslaught of No!'s and Please!'s and every little thing that people thought would help them. But it never came. My Flying Rodent had completely stopped moving. He stopped looking at me, and just turned his head up to the ceiling. I sighed and cut open his shirt. Whatever. He can be like that. For now. A small moan escaped his lips. I pushed aside the scraps, and marveled at beauty of all the scars and bruises, the sledge-hammer-proof abs, and most of all, the dark trail to heaven that led to the biggest man I'd ever seen. And I had fucked Scarecrow. I almost giggled like at school girl at all the dangerous thoughts I had.

"Brucey... Baby. If this is going to work, I'm gonna need your beautiful eyes watching me."

**Batman's P.O.V**

"Brucey... Baby. If this is going to work, I'm gonna need your beautiful eyes on me." With those words, my dick went full attention. My boxers would rip if I even thought about moving. With all the sexual tension in the air, I knew the Joker and I were bound to fuck.

"Baby?" I snorted. He smiled. His scars turned upwards with him.

"Whatever. I'm still gonna cut your boxers off." I chuckled, and thrust my hips upwards. With a rip and a gasp from the Joker, my man-meat sprang to attention.

"How the hell...?!" He gasped, ripping off the remaining scraps. As the air hit me, I couldn't help but groan.

"Jesus Bruce. I saw it on camera but I didn't think it would be this... BIG." He reached his hand out, and wrapped it around my length. I let out a breath I didn't even know I held. With at least 9 inches in length, and 5 inches in girth, there was a reason I rumored to be quite the ladies man. And this was it. With steady hands, Joker pumped me, then lowered his head.

"You ready for this? I've been told I have the sharpest tongue in Gotham." I gasped as he bent down even lower between my legs and licked at the pre-cum my cock was weeping.

"I'm ready... Just... Please." I begged, biting my lip, and thrusting my hips. He chuckled and said;

"I love a beggar." And with talent that even most successful seductress couldn't have had, he began to suck.

Love,

Your awesome writer,

Ace Of Spades


End file.
